LYDIA LUNCH & HER JERKS' LAST LAUGH

I got excited when Teenage Jesus & the Jerks "reunited" to play those Knitting Factory shows a while back. I checked airline tickets, promised myself I was going, realized it was too expensive and ultimately forgot about it. So when word came about that Lydia Lunch was taking the band on tour I got excited. Now a two hour drive is all it would take for me to be face to face with a band that rearranged every conception I had of music and how to make it. DNA were always my favorite, but Teenage Jesus were the most punk in a time where words like that were a thing of the past.

First off, it must be mentioned that this was not a true to form reunion, but considering TJ&TJ was a revolving cast of members, all that really matters is Ms. Lunch was on stage with hopefully at least one member of the original band. And that's all you got... Lydia on guitar and vocals, James Sclavunos literally playing one drum and Algis Kizys from Swans on bass. Considering the band's discography is about as long as the dead air before the first song on my highschool band's demo, my expectations of a magical, lengthy set never danced across my mind for more than a moment. Perhaps this was the reason each show's openers were a who's who of modern no wave, punk and whoever else made it onto the bill: Mika Miko, the Bay Area's unruly Burmese, Talk Normal (best NY band going!!!) and so on and so forth. Could these be great shows? Possibly... but I'll never know.

Why? I didn't go. Chalk it up to my general laziness and procrastination of even the things I'm most passionate about, but I'll blame it on youtube. After watching video after video of recent Teenage Jesus shows, I vowed not to waste my 20 bucks and stayed home. As my friend Patrick mentioned (he actually went to a show), "you could tell this was a big joke on everyone who came", and maybe I should have expected that and probably would even embrace it? Hell, I like a good joke, but from the sound of Ms. Lunch's vocals, their set was either a 15 minute anti-smoking ad (thanks Patrick, I'm still laughing) or Large Marge from PeeWee's Big Adventure reincarnate on stage after her fatal truck accident. Gone is what I truly loved about this band... youthful angst, a sound that challenged your ideas of what music is and so on and so forth. With those key elements in the trash, why reunite? Money... I get that, and fuck she probably needs it, and while this is hardly as obnoxious as say Joy Division getting back together with Ian Curtis' daughter on vocals or some lucky chap they met at a pub "who had er' real passion fer the urly werks", I still think it's silly that this happened.

Proof?